Shutting Down Criticism & Judgement of Other People
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A simple question to put an end to criticism and judgement of other people.
Our quickness to criticize and judge other people is a really cancerous and destructive part of the human experience.
It’s very common to see someone and instantly notice something different about them if anything registers as “different.” Maybe it's their weight, how they dress, how they talk or carry themselves, their sexuality, their social status, or a myriad of other things. It’s also common in our culture to cast judgement and criticism at others.
And even though this is such a common part of the human experience, it's really corrosive and damaging. It’s negative, and unkind, which is a crappy way to move through the world, so let’s talk about how to shut that down.
“Here’s a simple question to ask the next time you catch yourself judging someone:
Would I trade places with that person right now?”
One simple question that changes everything.
Here's a simple question to ask the next time you catch yourself judging someone:
Would I trade places with that person right now?
Not just their outfit or their job or their circumstances on the surface. Everything. Their childhood. Their trauma. The stuff they carry every single day that you have zero visibility into. Maybe it's a chronic illness. Maybe it’s their daily home life. Maybe it's a level of pain or fear or insecurity that you can't even fathom. Maybe part of what they carry is the hurt of being judged by people like you in that exact moment.
Would you trade all of it, completely, right now?
If the answer is no, you wouldn’t trade lives with them, then in the kindest way possible, take a nice, deep breath in and then exhale while focusing on this simple request: shut the f*ck up about their life:)
Your place is not to judge other people. You don't have the full picture and context of their life, and you never will when it comes to someone else. You don’t know what they live every day, and if you wouldn’t want it, sight unseen, then don’t criticize them, send them kindness.
“Snap judgments are human. What you do about them defines your character.”
Snap judgments are human. What you do about them defines your character.
I want to be clear that having and making a snap judgment doesn't mean that you’re a bad person.
It's literally how your brain works. We categorize things constantly because that's how we make sense of a complicated world. You're not going to stop your brain from doing that, and there’s no need to shame yourself for it either.
The real defining moment is what happens after that snap judgment shows up. Do you let it shape how you treat someone? Do you speak badly about them, or try to bond with others in the negativity, at their expense? Do you let it color how you feel about them? All of that is the part that's actually in your control.
So here's the challenge and the growth. When that judgment pops up, catch it. Notice it. And then let it go. Extend the person some grace and kindness instead. Wish them well in your mind and move on with your life.
“A much healthier way to spend your energy is to keep your hands full with your own life. Your own challenges, goals, growth, your own relationships.
Mind your own business.”
Keep your hands full with your own life.
A much healthier way to spend your energy is to keep your hands full with your own life. Your own challenges, goals, growth, your own relationships. Mind your own business. There's plenty of things to occupy your energy without spending it evaluating someone else.
The world is already a hard place. Don’t make it harder for people.
Be grateful for what you have, for how you experience life, and recognize that other people are walking through things and circumstances you aren’t privy to.
“We can all use a little more grace, and a little more love from the people around us.”
A little more grace and kindness into the world, please.
I am also human, I am certainly not perfect. I’m constantly a work in progress to catch myself and do better and find ways to be a better human,
I do know that we can all use a little more grace, and a little more love from the people around us.
And that shift can start with you. The next time you catch critical or mean judgment creeping into your thoughts, ask the question, ”Would I trade places?” If not, let it pass and let them be.
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This article was created by Galen Emanuele for the #culturedrop. Free leadership and team culture content in less than 5 minutes a week. Check out the rest of this month's content and subscribe to the Culture Drop at https://bit.ly/culturedrop
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