Don't Say No for Other People
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Don’t say no for other people.
A really common pattern I see in people in workplaces, and people in life in general. is limiting yourself by saying no on behalf of someone else. I’ve seen it happen when someone skips applying for a job or asking for a promotion because they assume they won’t get it and have already decided the answer will be no.
The decision gets made without the other person ever being involved. This is the worst strategy to move through life with.
“When you decide the answer in advance, you’re working from a hunch, and choosing the worst possible outcome to bank on.”
Let them answer for themselves.
Here’s the simple rule: don’t ever say no on behalf of the other person. Go ask, find out, and see what’s possible.
The person on the other side of the request has information you don’t. They know their budget, their timeline, their openings, their perspective, and their needs.
You can’t know any of that from a guess. When you decide the answer in advance, you’re working from a hunch, and choosing the worst possible outcome to bank on. It’s self sabotage.
You don’t die from a no.
When you ask and the answer is no, you’re in the same place you were before you asked. Nothing was taken from you. The worst possible outcome is nothing. The best is that you just may get the thing you really wanted, and it only happened because you spoke up. That possibility is worth far more than the brief discomfort of asking or the extremely short term, tiny sting of a no.
If you don’t ask, the guaranteed outcome is you get nothing.
“A no is not a verdict on your worth.”
Receive a no with grace.
Nos are going to happen. That’s part of any career and part of life. When one shows up, receive it gracefully and move on. Handling a no well often leaves a better impression than you’d expect, and it keeps doors open for next time.
This is where growth mindset and resilience come in. A no is not a verdict on your worth. People who build careers they love tend to be the ones who get comfortable hearing no, because they’ve learned that sometimes if you don’t ask, you don’t get, and eventually a no doesn’t hold the weight you once feared it did.
Rejection is truly no big deal.
Most of the nos you’ll receive in your life sting for a moment, and then they’re gone. Meanwhile, the opportunities you never asked about stay invisible, because you never find out what could have happened.
You really don’t know what you might gain by taking a shot. A role, a raise, a project, a connection, or a whole new direction could be one simple ask away.
“Go ask for the thing you want. It could make a huge difference in the long term in your life and career.”
Carry this with you.
If you take one nugget from this: go ask for the thing you want. It could make a huge difference in the long term in your life and career. It may open more doors than you’d expect, and the only cost is a little bit of courage.
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This article was created by Galen Emanuele for the #culturedrop. Free leadership and team culture content in less than 5 minutes a week. Check out the rest of this month's content and subscribe to the Culture Drop at https://bit.ly/culturedrop
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