What to Say When Someone Interrupts You
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Effectively handling interruptions with grace and clarity.
Interrupting is one of those commonly human things that can happen in almost every kind of conversation. Heated arguments, casual catch-ups, team meetings, one-on-ones.
Most of the time it's not a huge deal or very disruptive. Someone gets excited, they have something to contribute and they just jump in. Guilty as charged, personally. I have to really catch myself and be intentional not to do this,especially when I’m excited or fired up about something.
“When people feel interrupted, they don’t feel listened to. Once a conversation turns into talking over each other, people stop listening.”
The problem is that when people feel interrupted, they don’t feel listened to. Once a conversation turns into talking over each other, people stop listening. That dynamic doesn't just feel bad — it actively gets in the way of resolving whatever you're trying to resolve. Conflict escalates, and productive conversations come off the table.
What not to do.
The response is understandable once people get frustrated. A sharp "Stop interrupting me!” or “You always do this," is common and pretty much guaranteed to make things worse.
Heightened emotion, raised voices, and accusations escalate situations. They put the other person on the defensive and add more emotional heat to an often already charged situation. These things usually also shift focus away from the actual issue you were trying to work through and can transition conversations immediately into arguments.
“Heightened emotion, raised voices, and accusations escalate situations.”
The better move: A calm, specific ask.
A more effective approach is to pause, low intensity, and make a genuine request — in a calm voice, without the charge of frustration behind it.
Something to the effect of: "Hey, can I make a small ask? When I'm talking, can you let me finish what I'm saying before jumping back in? When you speak, I'm happy to do the same. It's really hard for this conversation to feel productive when I’m not able to finish what I’m saying."
That's it. Simple, specific, non-accusatory. It names what's happening without turning it into an attack, and it frames things as a two-way street rather than a complaint about the other person's behavior.
Assigning positive intent is a helpful tool.
It can also be helpful to acknowledge that the interrupting might not be intentional. Adding something like "I don't think you are intentionally interrupting me, or intending to make me feel not listened to, but that's kind of what's happening" gives the other person an easy off-ramp. They don't have to defend themselves because you are already assigning them positive intent — they can just agree to a new approach and move forward.
The objective is to illuminate and hopefully adjust how someone is behaving in order to de-escalate the situation, not score points. A calm ask does that, a frustrated call out almost always doesn't.
“Nobody wants to be called out in front of their colleagues, even if the behavior genuinely warrants addressing.”
Navigating group settings.
This gets a little more nuanced when other people are in the room. Nobody wants to be called out in front of their colleagues, even if the behavior genuinely warrants addressing. Public correction tends to create awkwardness, put people on the spot, and ironically make everyone less willing to engage productively.
In a group setting, framing the request collectively works much better. Something like: "I'm noticing there is some talking over each other. Can we agree as a group to let each other finish their thoughts before responding? I think it'll make this conversation feel a lot more productive and grounded."
That approach invites everyone in rather than singling anyone out. It's about creating a shared norm that everyone benefits from. The outcome is the same, but the path there is a lot smoother and can avoid someone getting embarrassed, even if they are the culprit.
“People do their best thinking and communicating when they feel listened to.”
Why this works.
The underlying principle here is simple: people do their best thinking and communicating when they feel listened to. And conflict escalates the less connected or tuned into the other person that we are.
When both sides of a conversation get to actually empty their cups — say what they need to say, fully, before the other person responds — the quality of what comes out is better, and the temperature of the conversation stays cool and calm.
Making a calm, specific ask to be heard isn't a confrontational move, it's a practical one. Disagreements are easier to work through, and relationships benefit from successfully resolving static. It's a small but incredibly powerful tool worth keeping handy.
Related Blogs:
How to Gently Approach Conflict
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This article was created by Galen Emanuele for the #culturedrop. Free leadership and team culture content in less than 5 minutes a week. Check out the rest of this month's content and subscribe to the Culture Drop at https://bit.ly/culturedrop
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