EQ & Managing a Crisis: Allow the Process
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The massive upheaval in workplaces caused by COVID-19 certainly qualifies as a time of great change and crisis. Responses, consequences, and reactions are all over the board and it’s testing our collective and personal response to stress, grief, and chaos.
Focus word: Allow
The focus for this post is simply the concept of “allow.”
Allow space for what you’re feeling and what you’re experiencing, both for yourself and others. This is a moment in time, and it’s real — and it’s also temporary. Every great high and low that we go through in our lives does not last forever. It's important to remember during great times of stress or change that the feelings we're having and the circumstances we're experiencing are the weather, not the sky.
“It’s important to remember during great times of stress or change that the feelings we’re having and the circumstances we’re experiencing are the weather, not the sky.”
You’ll have days where you're not focused at all and can't get anything done. Or you're wrung out emotionally for seemingly no reason. Allowing that to just be what it is for ourselves is so important. It doesn’t have to be fixed, it can just suck and be true for the moment.
For everybody, whether you're a leader or part of a team, if you're a human being experiencing what all of us are experiencing right now, it's okay to move through that, and process it in a way that's healthy. Don’t take it out on somebody else, just own that that's what's happening for you right now.
This is grief
For the uninitiated, this is what grief feels like. It comes and goes in waves and it sucks. You will have totally great days, or hours, and then the next day or hour might feel terrible.
Allow that to be the case, it's okay. Everything will move through like a storm and pass. Whatever we're experiencing; if it's great change, or crisis, or stress, be present and acknowledge that even though they suck right now, these things will not be here forever.
Everyone is going through it in their own way
And more than ever, it's time for your emotional intelligence to shine.
Allow other people to have and process their own good and bad days as well, just like you. Hold space for people in that way, have empathy and be gentle with others.
I recently rewatched the movie “Inside Out” by Pixar (highly recommend). It’s the one where all the emotions of the main character are the focus; Joy, Sadness, Anger, Fear, & Disgust. There's a really beautiful moment in that movie between Sadness, one of the emotions, and Bing Bong, the main character’s imaginary friend. Bing Bong is having a really sad moment where he’s crying because his rocket gets thrown into the memory dump and is lost forever.
Sadness just sat down with him and listened. She didn’t try to cheer him up or make it better, she just simply comforted him and acknowledged that he was having a tough moment.
In a beautiful moment of emotional intelligence she didn’t try to solve or fix anything, or try to get him to stop feeling sad. She just showed up for him in support, and it made things a lot better. She allowed space for him to process and move through what he was feeling, and it was exactly what he needed. It’s a beautiful moment, one we can all learn from. Here’s the link to watch the scene in the movie. I highly recommend you take 2 minutes to watch it.
“This truly is a time to be thinking about our own emotional intelligence and how we’re processing what we’re going through as well as how we’re showing up for other people.”
We don't have to fix everything in the world for other people or prevent them from feeling what they’re feeling. Feelings are normal and healthy and they don’t last forever. This truly is a time to be thinking about our own emotional intelligence and how we're processing what we’re going through as well as how we’re showing up for other people.
Support people, have empathy, allow them to experience what they're going through and just be there for them. Many times, it’s exactly what’s needed.
It’s also okay to feel good
Another aspect of all this is that it's also okay to feel good. Don’t deny yourself permission to feel good and grateful because you’ve kept your job, or have security or are healthy. You don't have to feel guilty for having positive feelings because of what other people are experiencing. Allow yourself both the good and the difficult.
The heart of this is all is just to allow whatever feelings and process that you're going through, and have that be okay. Recognize it, welcome it, let it move through and experience it, and let it pass. Everyone needs a little bit more love, and care, and attention right now, and that means you too.
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This article was created by Galen Emanuele for the #culturedrop. Free leadership and team culture content centered on a new focus every month. Check out the rest of this month's content and subscribe to the Culture Drop at https://bit.ly/culturedrop
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