Better Listening Skills: Empty Your Cup
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“Empty your cup” is a simple, powerful listening tool.
If you're leading a team, building relationships, or just trying to be a better human, being a great listener is pretty key to success. This week’s Culture Drop is me sharing a simple tool that is massively effective to use any time you want to make someone feel heard and listened to, especially when there's tension or feedback in play.
The listening trap.
In high-stakes conversations, whether it’s conflict with a coworker, feedback from a direct report, or a friend decompressing, it’s easy to fall into the trap of jumping in too quickly.
You formulate your response while the other person is still talking, and then feel the urge to clarify, defend, or offer solutions before they’ve had a chance to finish their thought.
“... the truth is that if you don’t make someone else feel fully heard, it’s way harder to get them to hear you in return.”
But the truth is that if you don’t make someone else feel fully heard, it’s way harder to get them to hear you in return.
"Empty your cup" has entered the chat.
This concept is something I learned from one of the most brilliant HR professionals and humans I know, Tina Radeke. She introduced me to a phrase I’ve carried with me ever since and used many times: empty your cup.
It’s both a mindset and a practical tool.
It’s simply giving someone the space to say everything they need to say — frustrations, feedback, thoughts, or feelings — without interruption, without judgment, without rushing them. Just holding space for them to fully empty what’s on their mind.
“Go ahead and totally empty your cup, say everything you want to say and I’ll just listen.”
In practice, when you're in a conversation where someone needs to process or share something you simply invite them to completely empty their cup. That can look like saying something like:
"Go ahead and totally empty your cup, say everything you want to say and I’ll just listen."
Then, the key part to this actually working and making them feel heard is don’t interrupt. Don’t jump in to clarify or fix or push back. Just listen, be present and tune into to hear them and let them get it all out.
Why it works.
Letting someone totally empty their cup builds trust. It communicates that you actually care about what they’re feeling and thinking, and that you’re not just waiting for your turn to talk. And when people feel truly heard, they’re more open, more collaborative, and way more willing to hear you out when it’s your turn.
It’s not about agreeing with everything they say. It’s about making them feel completely heard and listened to before moving forward or chiming in.
“It’s one of the simplest ways to make another person feel seen, respected, and supported.”
A simple, usable skill.
This phrase is small but mighty, and the impact is huge. Whether it’s a tense meeting, a one-on-one, or a late-night conversation with a friend, having “empty your cup” in your toolbelt is so helpful. It’s one of the simplest ways to make another person feel seen, respected, and supported.
Related Blogs:
Self Awareness: The Art of Not Sharing an Opinion
Build Trust & Relationships With This Brilliant Phrase
Improving Emotional Intelligence Part 3: Skilled Listening
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This article was created by Galen Emanuele for the #culturedrop. Free leadership and team culture content in less than 5 minutes a week. Check out the rest of this month's content and subscribe to the Culture Drop at https://bit.ly/culturedrop
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