Being a Better Employee: Drama, Gossip, & Bullshit
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There are many ways to be a better employee and one of the most important is to avoid, resist, and shut down drama, gossip, and bullshit in the workplace.
These things are incredibly toxic to teams and culture, and are also unfortunately commonplace in many organizations. Yes, for some people they are enticing and addictive to engage in. But like the plague, it’s in your best interest to avoid them for the sake of your peace of mind and career.
These things will all have a huge negative impact on you personally and professionally. Here are three ways that you can escape being tangled up in them at work (and hopefully outside of work too).
Number one: Stop yourself.
Do not generate, pass along, or stir up drama, bullshit, or gossip. Resist it.
Resist the urge to go to someone with a, “Guess what I heard…” or constantly complain, or be in other people’s business, especially if it’s negative and toxic.
“Some people just love these kinds of interactions, they thrive on them. Don’t let that person be you.”
I think that's very hard to do as human beings. Especially for some people; some people just love these kinds of interactions, they thrive on them. Don’t let that person be you.
Brené Brown talks about an element of this in her (fantastic) “Anatomy of Trust” video and shares a concept that I really like, which is “common enemy intimacy.” Basically, human beings love to connect and bond over the things that they hate together.
What she says in her talk is that connections built on a foundation of mutual negativity and disliking something are counterfeit; they lack real substance. And she is absolutely right.
All forms of gossip and drama are toxic, unhealthy, and often incredibly damaging not only to workplaces, but to your professional relationships and other people. It starts with you — take ownership and accountability to intentionally stop yourself from generating or engaging in any of it.
Number two: Shut it down.
Do not be the person that other people bring drama, and gossip, and garbage to. Treat those things like a currency you don’t accept. Don’t be a lightning rod or conductor to receive or pass any of it along.
Can this be hard to do? Yes. Especially if being a conductor of these things is something you’ve done a lot of until now. But you know what else is hard? Not eating every single donut in the box when someone brings them into the office. It takes self control and intention, and making a better choice.
Mmmmnn, donuts.
Let’s talk about those donuts for a second. Even if you wanted to, the social pressure of how rude and awkward it would be for you to just grab the donuts immediately and start stuffing them all into your mouth in front of everybody (so that no one else gets one) would stop you (hopefully) from doing that. It would be incredibly rude and terrible for you to do that, so you won’t.
“If you wouldn’t be proud of everyone hearing you do it in front of them, then don’t do it behind their backs.”
Spreading and being a partner to gossip and bullshit is no different. Make no mistake, it is rude and terrible even though you’re not doing in front of the whole team. If you wouldn’t be proud of everyone hearing you do it in front of them, then don’t do it behind their backs.
Suck it up, be a better human, it’s not actually that hard at all.
To help with this, here’s a really nice, simple phrase that I've heard a couple times (and really love) on how to easily shut down and sidestep the conversation: “I’m not available for that right now.”
It’s a pretty gentle way to stop the gossip perpetrator in their tracks and sets a precedent that drama and bullshit are not things you are interested in being part of or listening to.
“I’m not available for that right now.”
Do that a few times and you’ll stop having to say it because people will learn that you’re not an acceptable place to toss that garbage.
Number three: Mind your business.
What you're spending your time, energy, and brain space on is important.
Remember for your peace of mind that it’s a burden to harbor negative information and secrets about other people, and to swirl around and get caught up in other people’s drama. Create some boundaries and accept that other people's ‘stuff’ is their business, not yours.
Get your mind and hands full of your own life and your own business. Own what’s yours, let other people own what’s theirs.
I know, pretty Zen right?
Exactly.
Lastly, this all has a big impact on your career.
It is critical to understand is that these things impact your career, your career advancement, and opportunities.
“...leaders like that destroy team morale and create toxic cultures. They ruin organizations.”
You will never know the opportunities that you miss out on in your career if you are known as, or aligned with, the kind of people who are high drama, and create gossip and chaos.
Throughout your career, conversations will happen about you and above you, and without question, you will miss out on opportunities to advance because companies do not want to put toxic, high drama people into leadership positions. Those behaviors show low integrity, low self awareness, and leaders like that destroy team morale and create toxic cultures. They ruin organizations. #hardpass
So those are the three things: Stop yourself, shut it down, and mind your business.
Don’t just avoid it — be allergic to drama, gossip, and bullshit at work.
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This article was created by keynote speaker Galen Emanuele for the #shiftyestribe. Free leadership and team culture content centered on a new focus every month. Check out the rest of this month's content and subscribe to the Shift Yes Tribe at http://bit.ly/jointheshiftyestribe