What Impermanence Has to Do With Self Care & Resilience
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Impermanence: for self care, and resilience
A helpful concept to have a more resilient mindset for facing challenging times — which is inevitable if you're a human.
Ah yes, the roller coaster of life’s ups and downs. This week’s topic is something that’s pretty personal for me. One of the central ideas to Buddhist and zen perspective of the world, and it’s one that I really connect with, is this idea of impermanence — that nothing lasts forever.
Essentially embracing the reality that every moment and thing that we experience, both good and bad, is here now. And no matter how sweet or terrible it is, it’s temporary and won’t ever be again.
I think that this a very useful mindset in times of great success and also in challenging times and when facing hardships.
Nothing truly lasts forever.
The best moments in your life do not last forever. The worst moments in your life also do not last forever. Moments and experiences can shape us and have a big impact on us and our lives, but those actual moments and experiences are temporary.
I think it's important to hold that perspective when it comes to self-care and being resilient, especially when facing hardships and challenging times. The saying is true: No matter what, this too shall pass.
Going through big changes, significant events, or struggles in your life and even feeling really big emotions and going through emotional times is inevitable as a human. It’s can be really helpful to keep in mind and remember that those things are the weather, not the sky.
There's a quote I heard not very long ago by the poet Maya Angelou that I think is lovely and sums this up nicely which is, “Every storm runs out of rain."
Bad times are not all bad.
Hard times are inevitable for all of us mixed into the experience of being alive. From friendships and relationships, to work and career experiences, to family and strangers, you can’t make it start to finish in this life without some bad times along the way.
And when we do have hard times it's okay to feel bad. It’s ok to feel big emotions all across the spectrum and embrace the reality that we all have really challenging times in our lives.
Also, a truth about the bad moments and low times in our lives is that although we wouldn't choose them on purpose and we don't love going through them, they are beneficial to us. They are beneficial to our character and to who we are as a human beings.
Our experiences allow us to have more empathy and compassion for other people's struggles and challenges. They grant us more perspective and wisdom about many things.
Now I don’t mean to suggest that terrible things that happen are awesome, or that any of us would choose the worst things that we’ve gone through. But the hard times and adversity that we face also have a positive, beneficial impact to us in some way.
Remember that this won’t last forever.
Any time you are struggling in some way in your life, remember that these things are impermanent. Even if the results and consequences of these moments are really hard and will last, the moment won’t. The big, negative feelings and emotions will not stay forever. And when you have big euphoric, amazing times, those will also pass.
Everyone can recall a time when a relationship was ending or a job transition happened that you felt was the biggest, scariest, most terrible thing in the world at the time. And now when you look back you can hardly believe you were that upset about it at the time because you are in such a better place now down the line. Even though at the time it may have felt like the world was ending.
It's okay to feel all of your feelings. Let them in, pour them some tea, have a chat and connect with them. And then let them move on and pass on through, because they will. Big changes, challenging stuff in your life, like it won't last forever and it isn't permanent. As with all things good and bad in this life.
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