It's Ok to Be a Contradiction
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Humans are complex, and you contain multitudes.
This week’s #culturedrop is about something that’s both freeing and challenging: the idea that you can be two seemingly different things in life. You don’t have to be just one thing, or believe that you are just one thing.
This concept speaks to all the ways we can often feel boxed in, expected to play one role, wear one label, live up to one image, and even be convinced of who we are. But you, just like life, are full of contradictions.
Lets unpack this and look at some examples. I happen to think there are some real gold nuggets in here.
“You can shoot for the moon, be fiercely competitive, and still be and incredible gracious and kind loser or winner.”
1) Ambition doesn’t mean ruthlessness.
It’s easy to think that being ambitious means having to bulldoze others, but here’s the reality: you can have a burning drive and desire to win and still be kind.
You can shoot for the moon, be fiercely competitive, and still be and incredible gracious and kind loser or winner. You don’t have to push others down to lift yourself up or get to the top. That balance lets you pursue your goals without sacrificing compassion.
2) Generosity & boundaries can coexist.
Another myth people often buy into is that generosity means always saying “yes,” and always accommodating regardless of what we want personally. Not true.
“Generosity doesn’t mean sacrificing yourself on every altar of other people’s requests or expectations.”
You can be a giving, supportive, generous person while also setting clear boundaries. Generosity doesn’t mean sacrificing yourself on every altar of other people’s requests or expectations. You can be a massively generous person and also say “no,” or “I can’t do that right now.”
Boundaries allow us to protect our energy and maintain the capacity to give authentically. They also prevent resentments because doing and participating in things you don’t want to in order to keep the peace or appear giving leads to resentments and disengagement.
3) Hustling & resting aren’t opposites.
“Hustle culture” is everybody’s favorite thing to hate. That is generally for a good reason — it can lead to burnout, lack of self care, and the cringy energy of putting on false appearances for status.
But, if working hard and grinding is something you love, do it. You can be a hustler and take breaks. You can work extremely hard, put in tons of hours, and also practice self care and rest. recharge.
Allowing yourself space to recharge, waste time, and relax can exist and you can be “a hustler.”.
“Great leaders set a high bar and also have a mindset of being in service of their teams to lift them up and have their backs.”
4) Leadership with accountability & support.
In the professional world, leadership can often be viewed as one or the other: Being demanding, strict, and holding people accountable to a high bar, or being “soft” as a supportive mentor.
The truth is that you can hold people to high standards and still come from a p[ace of support and partnership. Great leaders set a high bar and also have a mindset of being in service of their teams to lift them up and have their backs. Leaders that balance accountability with support and empathy create a culture where people can do great things and thrive.
5) Honest & compassionate feedback.
“You can be direct without being harsh. You can communicate clearly while being gentle, focusing on growth rather than criticism.”
Navigating feedback is another area where there can feel like pressure to choose between directness and kindness. But giving feedback doesn’t mean sacrificing one for the other. You can be direct without being harsh. You can communicate clearly while being gentle, focusing on growth rather than criticism. This balance creates an environment of trust where people are open to change because they know feedback is coming from a place of respect.
6) Advocating for yourself & staying humble
One of the toughest things for many of us is advocating for ourselves without feeling “selfish.” But advocating for your interests — whether it’s in a relationship, a job, or a financial negotiation — doesn’t mean you think you’re above anyone else. You can ask for what you want with humility. You can be both assertive and humble, knowing that advocating for yourself is a way of honoring your value without diminishing others.
Embracing the complexity of “Both/And.”
“Embrace your contradictions, and let them shape the unique, multifaceted person you are.”
Our world thrives on labels and categories, but in reality, the human experience is complex. Embracing paradox — seeing that you can be both competitive and kind, generous and boundaried, hard-working and relaxed, demanding and supportive — frees you from having to believe that being one thing means you can’t also be the other.
Embrace the nuance that it’s okay to be a mix of seemingly contradictory traits. Life is complex and layered. As you navigate this journey, remember: you are more than one label, more than one role. Embrace your contradictions, and let them shape the unique, multifaceted person you are. You get to be whatever combo of awesome works for you.
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This article was created by Galen Emanuele for the #culturedrop. Free leadership and team culture content in less than 5 minutes a week. Check out the rest of this month's content and subscribe to the Culture Drop at https://bit.ly/culturedrop
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