Changing Negative Behavior With "Three Nice Things"
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This is a quick, simple tool you can use in all sorts of different situations.
This is something I picked up from a good friend of mine, Nichol.
It’s called “Three nice things.”
My friend Nichol is one of the most positive and intentional human beings I know. I picked up this trick from her because she’s used it on me many times. It’s stuck with me, and it works.
Here’s how it goes: just about any time that she catches me saying something unnecessarily negative either in jest to a friend, or teasing about something, or even making a less than positive comment about myself, she responds with “Nope, say three nice things right now!”
I immediately “have” to name three nice things about that person/thing/myself.
It’s a silly thing in the moment whenever she says it to me, but have found this to be a really useful tool to catch myself and snap out of it when I am either talking or feeling pretty negative about someone (or something) else or myself.
Changing habits is really hard.
“This simple trick can help you to make a different, better choice in the moment when you catch yourself hopping on the negative train to Bummersville.”
Even if you really want to, it's hard to change negative habits and mindsets. This simple trick can help you to make a different, better choice in the moment when you catch yourself hopping on the negative train to Bummersville.
Whenever I catch myself and use this it always makes me feel a bit better in the moment and reminds me that regardless of my circumstances that I have power over my own behavior.
I talk a lot about growth mindset and just like a growth mindset, having a positive outlook and disposition in life is a skill that you have to develop and work at over time, it’s not automatic. And the more little tips and tricks you can have in your tool belt the better.
For the naysayers.
Because people loooove to pushback by finding an example when something isn’t true or helpful, let me add a little clarity. I don’t believe this is a life hack to make all of your worldly troubles go away, or to diminish when something sucks or someone is being awful.
“Words are powerful, and I think that our behaviors affect our mindsets more than our mindsets affect our behaviors.”
In certain situations, this can be a helpful way to pull yourself out of stewing and acting in negativity. Words are powerful, and I think that our behaviors affect our mindsets more than our mindsets affect our behaviors.
Having power and agency over your own behavior is an important element of self awareness and emotional intelligence. And being able identify negative behavior as it’s happening and make a change in the moment (if you want to) is an extremely empowering practice.
Find other uses for the same concept.
You also don’t have to only use this in this way. When you catch yourself stewing in negativity or in a funk, maybe you choose three people to send off a quick text message of gratitude. Or three co-workers to write a nice appreciation note for, or go do three nice things for strangers. It’s a great tool that can have unlimited applications.
Three nice things — a quick, easy way to replace a negative behavior with something more positive in the moment.
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This article was created by Galen Emanuele for the #culturedrop. Free leadership and team culture content in less than 5 minutes a week. Check out the rest of this month's content and subscribe to the Culture Drop at https://bit.ly/culturedrop
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