How To Shut Down Toxic Talk, Gossip, & Bullsh*t
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How To Shut Down Toxic Talk, Gossip, And Bullshit At Work
As I discussed last week, one of the keys and green flags to a healthy culture is a no-tolerance attitude towards gossip. Although unfortunate, the reality is that many people enjoy participating in or generating gossip, rumors, and toxic talk. Here’s how to shut it down and stop it in it’s tracks if you don’t want to be that person.
First of all, why does gossiping matter & why should you care?
There are a number of benefits to shutting down and not participating in gossip. Number one, your reputation.
Gossip, rumors, and badmouthing others is a bad look for you. It destroys your reputation, is toxic to culture, and it’s cruel, shitty behavior. Don’t do it.
Don’t be the person who is spreading gossip, rumors, negativity, and causing drama inside your workplace. It’s also a really bad look to be associated with the people who are doing these things. This kind of behavior can cost you promotions, damage your trust with coworkers, and impact your career as you get labeled as someone who creates drama on teams.
Another benefit of steering clear of toxic talk is that it stops negativity from stewing inside and around you. Spreading rumors or gossip may feel exciting to some people, but it’s cruel. It’s mean to talk about other people and judge them, regardless or whether or not you like that person. When you allow yourself to indulge in this kind of behavior, it creates social and behavioral patterns for you that add more negativity and drama to your life.
So, if you don’t want to be the kind of person that spreads rumors and engages in this kind of workplace drama, here are two great responses you can use to shut it down and be the place where gossip goes to die:
1. “I have absolutely no opinion about that at all.”
I love using this. If someone comes to you with some kind of gossip or rumor or toxic talk, a very simple, “I have absolutely no opinion about that at all,” is an easy way to stop the conversation in it’s tracks. It’s a refusal to engage. Boom, done, that’s it. And don’t respond otherwise.
For bonus points, you can include “I don’t have time or space to care about that. It’s none of my business.”
It should go without saying, but after expressing this, it’s important to not add anything or engage at all with the conversation. Topic over, time to move onto something else or end the conversation. Don’t respond other than to express that you will not engage or respond.
Yes, these words may feel awkward to the person gossiping. Good. It’s a great way to shut down the momentum of the conversation and possibly as a side effect make them reconsider why they were telling you in the first place.
2. “Let me help you formulate the conversation to have with them.”
The second thing you can do when someone brings gossip or toxic talk about someone else to you is to redirect them in a more productive direction - back to the source. For example, if someone comes to you gossiping or badmouthing or complaining about someone that they don’t get along with, you can answer with this:
“I’m happy to have a conversation to help you formulate what you want to say to that person to go sort things out with them directly. If the purpose of this conversation is simply to have a negative conversation about them and not go address it, then I don’t have space or energy for it.”
Just talk? Not interested. Let them know that you are willing to help them organize their thoughts and work through what they might want to say to the other person directly.
This is a really great way to redirect the conversation to being productive in order to actually find a resolution and avoiding just gossiping or badmouthing about someone else. It’s actionable, and it’s another great way to shut these kinds of conversations down.
Closing thoughts
Gossiping, rumors, and badmouthing others is a one-sided way to handle or create conflict and it’s incredibly toxic to culture and relationships.
If you speak about others, do it to lift them up, don’t punch downward. If you have a problem with someone or you don’t like them, either avoid them or go resolve the issue directly with that person. Be the kind of person that stops gossip at the source - it’s good for your reputation, and more importantly, it’s good for your heart.
Respond to toxic talk and gossip with these two phrases consistently and you'll unlock a bonus level where people stop bringing conversations like this your way because of how unsatisfying it is that you don't engage. #win
Related Articles:
3 Ways To Remove Gossip From Your Life
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This article was created by Galen Emanuele for the #culturedrop. Free leadership and team culture content in less than 5 minutes a week. Check out the rest of this month's content and subscribe to the Culture Drop at https://bit.ly/culturedrop