Don't Ever Humiliate or Embarrass Employees
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Don’t ever humiliate or embarrass employees or teammates
This week’s topic is crucial for leaders, coworkers, and humans alike: something you should never do — humiliate or call someone out in front of others. This is a foundational rule of leadership, and if it’s not already on your radar, it needs to be.
There’s a simple adage in leadership: praise publicly, coach privately. It’s not just a catchy phrase — it’s a fundamental principle that will save you from making a cardinal sin of leadership which is calling someone out, reprimanding them, or making them look bad in front of their peers.
“Even if your intention wasn’t to humiliate them, the impact on that person remains the same.”
Why this matters.
Without question, nothing destroys morale, damages your reputation, or erodes trust faster than publicly shaming someone. Even if your intention wasn’t to humiliate them, the impact on that person remains the same. The moment someone feels embarrassed or humiliated, whether intentional or not, it creates a ripple effect that almost certainly will:
Destroy trust. Public humiliation obliterates trust between leaders and team members
Breed resentment. Being called out results in damaged relationships and bad blood.
Lead to disengagement or quiet quitting. Public criticism causes decreased job satisfaction and increased job insecurity, leading to reduced performance and checked out employees.
Cause people to quit. It’s damaging enough to potentially result in them leaving the company.
Intent vs impact.
It’s extremely important to understand that your intentions don’t matter as much as the impact of your actions. You might think, “I wasn’t trying to make them feel bad,” but if the result is that they do feel bad, the damage is done. Especially as a leader, you must be hyper-aware of how your words and actions land with others.
“Especially as a leader, you must be hyper-aware of how your words and actions land with others.”
Even in casual settings — with friends, colleagues, or team members — if your words make someone feel isolated or cast out, you’re at risk of a severely damaged relationship.
Praise publicly, coach privately.
Here’s how to avoid this leadership pitfall:
Handle Feedback One-on-One: When someone needs corrective feedback, take them aside. A private setting gives them space to process without the added pressure, and potential shame and embarrassment, of being exposed in front of an audience.
Avoid Self-Justification: Don’t excuse your own behavior with, “I wasn’t trying to humiliate, call out, ridicule, etc.” Always prioritize and consider deeply how your actions will be received, regardless of your intentions.
Build Trust Through Privacy: Private conversations allow for open dialogue, a more nuanced conversation, and privacy protects their dignity.
Navigating team conversations.
There will be times when you need to address an issue as a team, and the situation may involve the actions of an individual. Here’s how to navigate this tricky territory:
“When in doubt, err on the side of caution and take the conversation private.”
Focus on the lesson rather than the person. Frame the conversation around what happened and how to prevent it in the future, without singling anyone out.
Be extremely intentional and tread carefully with your choice of words. Ensure the tone is constructive, and helpful, not critical. Do everything in your power to make the person look good, despite the situation. Learning moments can be helpful for everyone, present it in a positive light as an opportunity to collectively learn and improve.
When in doubt, err on the side of caution and take the conversation private.
Final thoughts.
If your words or actions have even the slightest potential to make someone look bad in front of their peers, don’t do it. Instead, have that conversation privately. This approach builds trust, strengthens relationships, and sets you up as a leader people want to work with.
Your ability to give feedback and coaching to your team in a way that feels safe, supportive, constructive, and non-humiliating is a big deal. Your reputation and relationships depend on it.
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Leaders Need Conflict & Feedback Mastery
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This article was created by Galen Emanuele for the #culturedrop. Free leadership and team culture content in less than 5 minutes a week. Check out the rest of this month's content and subscribe to the Culture Drop at https://bit.ly/culturedrop
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