Most Leaders Think They’re Good at Conflict. They Aren’t.
Welcome to the #shiftyestribe! Every Tuesday, Galen Emanuele emails tools to advance leadership skills, team culture, and personal growth. Relevant, authentic, no spam. Sign up now to get it in your inbox.
In order to be successful in a leadership position, you must be an exceptional communicator. This applies to many areas of communication, but here I’m talking about the most challenging aspects of it. Very specifically, leaders possessing the skills to:
1) Clearly communicate expectations and guidelines.
2) Provide feedback and coaching in a straightforward, collaborative, and supportive way.
3) And I believe most importantly, effectively navigate conflict.
Every leader needs to continuously learn and build their skills in these areas so that they have the mindset, framework, language, and effective tactics for these situations.
They are all inevitable, and the success of leaders and teams is greatly impacted by the capacity of leaders in this regard.
According to an article from the Center for Creative Leadership titled, “Why Communication is So Important for Leaders,” communication is a core leadership function but it can be easily overlooked.
“Exceptional communication sets your team up for success. You need to be able to clearly articulate what is expected on your team and what it looks like to be successful.”
“You need to think with clarity, express ideas, and share information with a multitude of audiences,” the article states. “You must learn to handle the rapid flows of information within the organization, and among customers, partners, and other stakeholders and influencers.”
Exceptional communication sets your team up for success. You need to be able to clearly articulate what is expected on your team and what it looks like to be successful.
The hard stuff
In my opinion, it’s most critical for leaders to be great communicators around having difficult conversations regarding conflict or performance feedback.
When having these conversations, the best leaders treat these situations with a focus on collaboration and support. For example, seeing feedback as a coaching opportunity rather than as criticism.
When you approach feedback as coaching, you are actively partnering with the employee towards their success. They are not alone; they have a coach in their corner.
Which sounds like an easy enough mindset to adopt, but that’s not enough. You have to have a framework around how to deliver information in a way that puts them in a receptive space to hear it. There is a way to coach that builds accountability and self-reliance, etc.
“Being able to navigate these difficult conversations and situations eloquently and strategically is one of the most important tactical skills you can possess as a leader. ”
Likewise, you need to be able to frame language inside confrontation and conflict that directs things to a more collaborative place focused on finding solutions that improve everyone’s experience.
Being able to navigate these difficult conversations and situations eloquently and strategically is one of the most important tactical skills you can possess as a leader.
Realtalk: Most leaders are worse than they think
A trap here that many leaders fall into is overestimating their ability in these areas. The truth is that if a leader hasn't had a lot of formal training, education, and guidance in these areas, they’re likely not as skilled as they believe they are.
These are tangible, tactical skills like anything else that require study and cultivation. Intuition is no replacement for a practical, strategic skillset.
“Intuition is no replacement for a practical, strategic skillset.”
There are unlimited resources out there for leaders to sink their teeth into and sharpen their axes around these topics. Formal training in nonviolent communication, or books like “Radical Candor” by Kim Scott, or “Fierce Conversations” by Susan Scott are great places to start.
You can also find hours and hours worth of free videos, articles, and additional resources online to give you step-by-step tools to navigate conflict, give feedback and coaching, and be a stronger, more effective communicator around challenging conversations.
I have a number of blogs and videos on these subjects with a ton of specific how-to guides. Even if you have had training, you can always sharpen and hone your skills.
It’s worth the investment, the stakes are high
A leader who is ineffective or unskilled at this type of communication is dangerous and can be a cancer in your organization. Being unable to effectively address and coach poor behavior contributes to the failure of projects, teams, and individuals.
Conflict that is mishandled or avoided breeds resentment and contributes to poisoned culture, silos, higher turnover, and all kinds of dysfunction.
Difficult conversations are inevitable as a leader. Effective, skilled leadership communication is the key to moving through these situations with ease and creating an environment where organizations, leaders, and individuals can thrive.
Related Articles:
This article was created by keynote speaker Galen Emanuele for the #shiftyestribe. Free leadership and team culture content centered on a new focus every month. Check out the rest of this month's content and subscribe to the Shift Yes Tribe at http://bit.ly/JointheSYT