A Conflict Management Tip to Keep Peace of Mind
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Dealing with conflict and difficult people is hard, inside and outside of work.
There are difficult people out here in the world. Navigating conflict and moving through challenging situations with other people is inevitable and comes with the territory of being a human.
This is a tool that I find very useful when I'm having static, conflict, or I’m just frustrated with somebody else. This is an internal, self-focused tool to help you keep peace of mind when it might otherwise be massively disrupted.
This is not about directly and outwardly resolving a conflict with another person, it's about dealing with the situation internally in a way that can bring you peace of mind rather than massively impact your peace and emotional state, which conflict can easily do.
It’s a quote from a poem.
What I'm going to share with you is a phrase from a poem from one of my favorite poets, Buddy Wakefield. He's brilliant. The name of the poem is Hurling Crowbirds at Mockingbars from his book named Gentleman Practice. The line that I love from that poem is this:
“Forgiveness is for anyone that needs safe passage through my mind.”
“... it’s common to engage in a conversation with somebody else in our mind that is not physically in front of us in order to ‘have it out’ with them.”
I use this phrase when I find myself in war in my head with somebody else. It helps me to immediately disengage and stop the mental fight with them, and let them pass on through without a battle.
People are difficult. In life, at work, etc. And it’s common to engage in a conversation with somebody else in our mind that is not physically in front of us in order to ‘have it out’ with them.
We take those opportunities to say all the things that we can’t or won’t say in person, to put them in their place, and sometimes to have a knock down, drag out, fistfight battle in our heads with them. Whether that is someone from our family, or our past, a coworker, stranger, or anyone else that we might be in a mental war with.
Create some peace.
I love the idea, and find it very useful to allow that person to pass through my mind without me attacking them, and without causing war in my brain against that person.
For me, the visual of that idea and the intention of it is extremely helpful, letting this person enter my thoughts and leave again without me having to glob on to them and engage in a negative battle in my brain.
“Ruminating over negative situations or people, and getting emotionally worked up in your brain can consume you.”
Having angry conversations in your head with other people can have a massive negative impact on you. Ruminating over negative situations or people, and getting emotionally worked up in your brain can consume you. It certainly pulls you out of the present and causes you stress. You might be able to logically know the difference between a heated conversation that happens in your brain vs in person, but your body and emotions can feel the stress and negativity full blast.
My advice is when you catch yourself in a moment of being frustrated with someone else in your mind to take a moment to pause the conversation and interaction with them in your brain and allow them to have safe passage through your mind. That visual and intentional will very likely immediately cause you to become more calm and to disengage with that person in your head. It certainly does for me, which is a huge relief.
People can be difficult.
“The reality about mentally fighting with people is that it doesn’t really provide any benefits.”
Human beings can be complicated and difficult, especially in workplace situations, and all other situations as well, lol.
The reality about mentally fighting with people is that it doesn’t really provide any benefits. It riles you up. stresses you out, and gets you emotional, but it cannot resolve the issue with the other person.
Many times in life you're not going to ever be able to get resolution from somebody that has hurt or harmed you. You need to find a way to move on and have peace inside yourself. For me, that means giving that person safe passage through my mind so that I don’t continue to suffer as a result of thinking of them and the situation.
I hope that this proves to be useful for you too. Go be awesome.
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This article was created by Galen Emanuele for the #culturedrop. Free leadership and team culture content in less than 5 minutes a week. Check out the rest of this month's content and subscribe to the Culture Drop at https://bit.ly/culturedrop
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