How to Handle Promotion Rejection
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Getting passed over for a promotion that you really wanted (or thought you were a shoo-in for) sucks. It can be really deflating, confusing, and frustrating.
The way that you respond can have a huge impact on your career development and opportunities in the future. Here’s how to bounce back effectively, and set yourself up for success the next time around.
There's definitely a right and wrong way to deal with this.
The wrong way:
Be resentful, complain and badmouth your company, get down on yourself about it, make assumptions about why you didn’t get the job and convince yourself that they are true without inquiring, make it obvious how disgruntled you are by acting out, just to name a few.
You can do a lot of damage to your standing with your company and boss by responding poorly to the situation. Yes, it sucks, but your best option is to pull yourself together and be proactive.
The other thing that promotion rejection can cause is shaken confidence and self doubt, which is understandable. You can stop and rest on a bench and feel sorry for yourself for a moment. but don’t build a house and live there. Get back up, and get moving.
Something to keep in mind when this situation happens that will help you keep perspective and stay mentally afloat:
“It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not a weakness; that is life.” - Jean-Luc Picard of the USS Enterprise.
It’s true, take it from Star Trek. Failures and setbacks are a part of everyone’s journey; they are a page in your book, not the title of the book.
Let’s get into some proactive ways you can shake it off and get back to being awesome.
The right way to handle promotion rejection.
First, a conversation.
The first thing is to go and have a conversation with the hiring manager, and whoever was in charge of the decision. Not to go and accuse or verbally attack them, but to seek honest answers and perspective. Go in seeking help and guidance, not revenge,
“Ask your hiring manager, ‘What do you need to see from me so I’m a shoo-in the next time there’s an opportunity like this?’”
Approach that conversation to the effect of, “I'm disappointed, I really wanted this job and if you’re open to it, I’d like to get some perspective from you about how you made the decision. Essentially, I’m interested to find out what you’d need to see from me so that I’m a shoo-in the next time there’s an opportunity like this.”
Your main objective to should be to get the most honest feedback possible from them because it’s your fastest track to understanding why you weren’t chosen. Your best chance at improving is the truth. We all have blindspots and areas of opportunity to improve. Just keep in mind that the other needed ingredient to this conversation is that you have to have the courage, resilience, and growth mindset to actually want to hear some things that might be really hard to hear, and to receive them with grace.
I will offer you this advice: take what they say to heart. Whether you agree with it or not, it is their perspective and it is true for them. For some great tips that will be helpful for this convo, check out this article about how to respond to feedback that you don’t like.
Maybe the reality is that you just don't interview that well and need to level up your skills in that department. Not the end of the world, totally possible. Overall, the most important thing that you can get from them is how you can develop your skills, attitude, or how you’re showing up so that you can advance the way you’d like to.
“The way you respond now, and how you show up in your role after their feedback could cause them to see you in a new light and be the reason you get that promotion the next time something comes up.”
When you have the emotional maturity to respond well and be proactive, and calmly have this conversation it shows that you’re intentional, emotionally intelligent, self-aware, and that you’re hungry to grow.
The way you respond now, and how you show up in your role after their feedback could cause them to see you in a new light and be the reason you get that promotion the next time something comes up.
That being said, what if you’re in a job where they have no plans to promote you at all?
Now for the flip side of this coin which is whether or not you are in a job where they have no plans of ever promoting you at all.
This could be for any number of reasons, and it may be nearly impossible to know for sure if this is the case because they may not be willing to be straight with you, which is a bad move on their part and leaves you guessing.
“Maybe you’ve applied for something multiple times, not received the job and don’t feel like they are being honest with you about why.”
They might have a less than great impression about you, or maybe some past behavior or personality clash that exists and as a result, you will not be promoted in this company. Maybe you've applied for something multiple times, not received the job and don't feel like they are being honest with you about why.
If this is the case, you might have to evaluate if you’re in a place where you’re going to get the types of advancement opportunities that you want. And if it's not, the best choice for yourself is likely to start looking around for another job.
If you can pull it off, have that conversation with your boss.
One option that you have if you are considering leaving your job is to have the conversation with your boss.
Now, I understand as the author of this blog that I don’t have a grasp of the context or temperature of your relationship with your boss. It is extremely hard to convey in a blog post the nuance of the tact and tone of voice that makes that conversation not come across like you are making a threat as opposed to just a calm conversation about the future. All I can say is: don’t make it sound like a threat.
There are plenty of bosses who don’t respond well to things, and that conversation may cause you to lose a job that you don’t want to lose, so I caution you before having that conversation with them to be ready to start looking around if they tell you to turn in your badge. The discretion of whether or not you can have a calm, non-threatening conversation like that with your boss I will leave up to you. If you’re already at the point of being ready to leave then you don’t have much to lose.
“Like much of life, if they are willing to let you go, they just aren’t that into you.”
I will say that if your boss and company values you highly as an employee, their ears will perk up and they will make it known that they want you to stay if they hear you mention that you are considering looking around for other opportunities. Like much of life, if they are willing to let you go, they just aren’t that into you.
It’s ok to leave a company when it’s time to go and seek other opportunities. Many times people leaving a company is the best thing to ever happen for both parties.
Over your career and throughout your life, there's a high chance that you will be passed over for a promotion that you really want or feel that you deserve. Responding to it in a proactive, positive way will make you look good and can set you up for success for the future. The situation may also be a sign that it’s time to move on. Don’t sit and sulk, advocate for yourself and make moves that will help you level up.
Chin up, eyes forward, the best is yet to come.
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This article was created by Galen Emanuele for the #culturedrop. Free leadership and team culture content in less than 5 minutes a week. Check out the rest of this month's content and subscribe to the Culture Drop at https://bit.ly/culturedrop
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