Emotional Intelligence Level Up: Equanimity
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This is about my favorite kind of intelligence: emotional intelligence.
You can level up your EQ big time by practicing equanimity in the day to day.
That’s a big ‘ole word you don’t hear every day. By definition, equanimity means mental calmness, composure, and an evenness of temper, especially in difficult situations. So basically, being chill AF.
If you are interested in increasing your emotional intelligence, you should definitely have equanimity on your radar. It is an element of emotional intelligence, directly tied to self-awareness and self-management. It about being in control of yourself and your emotional behavior, regardless of the situation or feelings that are present for you in the moment.
It’s so incredibly useful to be able to feel and process what is going on without being overly reactive and allowing your emotions to completely overrun your behavior — a trait that anyone of any walk of life can benefit from.
An example:
You have a vacation planned that you’ve waited months for — your PTO is on the calendar, bags are packed, and you’re ready for a week of relaxation.
But things go wrong, because life happens sometimes. Your Uber to the airport gets stuck in traffic, so you miss your flight. You get to the hotel and realize that it’s nothing like (read:way worse than) the pictures on the website, it pours down rain the entire time, you lose you wallet, or luggage, etc.
In those sorts of moments you have many choices, and the most important really comes down to:
1) Freak out like the trip is ruined, stay frustrated and in a bad mood, spoiling what’s left of the trip for yourself and likely everyone around you.
2) Pivot, enjoy the trip anyway despite some pretty big hiccups and salvage the time you have by channeling your equanimity within.
The value of equanimity in leaders is massive.
It’s a worthwhile skill for anyone to possess in order to be a better employee, colleague, friend, partner, etc. And especially as a leader, it comes into play a lot. Leaders have to have composure and be able to keep a cool head in times of stress and challenge. Leaders are often lightning rods when things go wrong or the going gets tough, and teams look to them to set the tone or be the level-headed voice of calm to move forward.
Another factor is that It’s not just vital when you are the eye of the storm of a situation, it’s also helpful when you’re outside of the situation; i.e. a customer or employee is losing their sh*t over some situation or circumstance at work. The ability to remain calm and cool enables you to lead and navigate those situations more effectively in the moment. There is so much benefit to be the grounding anchor during moments where emotions are high.
Now that you know what equanimity is, you can go be perfect at it!
Just kidding, not even close. This is no easy thing to do. Like anything else that’s worth improving at, it takes time and practice to master being able to keep calm in stressful situations. To change your response to stress, the first step is to be aware of your emotions. Intention and awareness are a huge part in being able to recognize the feelings that are showing up for you, and begin to manage your response to them.
What this looks like in practice:
Say you lose composure during a stressful meeting or conversation and get flustered. After the fact realizing that you could’ve reacted better. This is a great time to reflect on how you would’ve ideally handled things, and what you could do next time in the moment to keep your cool or catch yourself from going off the rails. Having a conversation with the other person about it can help reinforce for yourself what handling it better next time will look like.
Another idea is to adopt the intention for yourself and keep it top of mind. Maybe put a post-it note on your computer as a reminder, or share with your team or a colleague that this is something you’re working on (it can be a coworker, leader, friend, etc.). It’s useful to have others help by being an accountability partner for you and your path to progress.
Plain ‘ole research doesn’t hurt either.
Great news: there are thousands of blogs, videos, books, and content on the internet about everything. Take it upon yourself to dig around and search for tools and wisdom and advice to get some more perspective and assistance in this area.
This isn’t something that you can snap your fingers and be good at. But with awareness, reflection, and practice, equanimity is something everyone can master over time. Keep at it.
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This article was created by Galen Emanuele for the #culturedrop. Free leadership and team culture content in less than 5 minutes a week. Check out the rest of this month's content and subscribe to the Culture Drop at https://bit.ly/culturedrop