The Importance of Maintenance Conversations
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This is a must-have for healthy working or personal relationships.
I’m talking about maintenance conversations.
Whether you’re a leader, co-worker, friend, etc., having maintenance conversations is imperative to the ongoing health of your interpersonal relationships. If you want to have a healthy dynamic within your team, then you need to have regular, honest, conversations about how things are going.
Why? Just like changing the oil in your car, do it proactively to keep things running clean and smooth, don't wait until there's a problem to do it.
The frequency and formality for these types of conversation can vary. My recommendation is once a quarter; every three months, or four months tops. In order to address things in a timely manner, once-a-year isn’t often enough — these conversations need to take place more frequently in order to be timely, casual, and relevant to how people are experiencing and impacting each other on a regular basis.
Here is an easy model for how to effectively structure these conversations using a simple three question outline. In it’s most effective form, this is a shared conversation where both people exchange productive feedback with each other. Using this model, both people would come to the conversation prepared to share their answers to each of these questions of each other.
What’s going great? What am I/you doing great?
What are areas of opportunity for me/you to improve? What could we do better?
What would a 10/10 look like? What does exceptional look like from me/you?
The answers should be in the context of how both people are working together, communicating, and impacting one another overall.
What if your relationship is fine and it doesn’t feel necessary?
My answer is yes, absolutely do it. It’s just like maintaining anything else in your life! You don’t wait for your car to stop working or break down before changing the oil. Do it proactively to keep things running clean and smooth, don't wait until there's a problem.
Leveling the playing field
I know most feedback conversations in workplaces still operate in an archaic, top-down fashion where feedback only goes downhill and leaders tell employees how they’re doing, rather than employees also giving feedback to leaders and having mutual conversations between both parties.
If you want to do healthy feedback and relationships right, conversations like this should happen on a consistent basis and be a shared conversation instead of one-sided or where feedback is being delivered ‘downhill.’
Both the leader and employee get to share what’s going well, what can be improved, and what a 10/10 would look like in service of a stronger, more connected relationship, and the growth of both people involved and the organization.
Also, I know in workplaces this isn’t historically done between peers and coworkers, but I feel strongly that it should be. Why not have meaningful conversations with the people that you work with the most to discuss what’s working, what’s not, and what could be better?
When we don’t do this, things get left unsaid.
Sometimes, people are afraid to bring up things that bother them. If we don’t set up maintenance conversations proactively, things can be left unsaid, leading to conflict and/or you having angry conversations in your head (which is useful to no one).
This allows you to discuss a blip in communication as it happens instead of wait a week or month or longer and building resentment up over a small issue that could’ve been solved much easier if it was handled earlier on.
The impact of maintenance conversations is healthier communication, more trust, and it’s a great method for communicating feedback within any working or personal relationship. Anyone can benefit from doing this, regardless of your role or function in an organization. Having these conversations will make your team feel more connected, and build stronger trust and rapport with one another. It’s a huge benefit, it’s that simple.
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