Making People Feel Listened To
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This is a quick-hit way to level up your communication skills.
In communication, there’s a huge difference between hearing what someone said, and making that person feel listened to.
If my intention is to make other people feel listened to, I automatically show up in a very different way when I interact with people. In terms of eye contact, body language, tuning in, my responses — showing up to make others feel heard is a whole different ballgame than simply listening.
Ways you can make others feel listened to:
Here’s a shortlist of easy ideas you can add to your communication with others to make sure they feel listened to:
Make eye contact with them and nod your head when you understand what they’re saying.
Be mindful of other body language that could signal that your mind is elsewhere or you’re not tuned in, Use open, forward facing body language.
Actually be tuned in and present to what they’re saying, don’t be just waiting for your turn to speak and constantly formulating a response.
Don’t get distracted by your phone, computer, other people, etc.
If appropriate for the situation, repeat back to them what they’ve said - “What I’m hearing is…”
The difference between hearing words & actively listening
In conversations and interactions, if you’re focused on making the other person feel listened to then you’re going to show up in a very different way, causing them to have a much better experience.
When you’re focused on just hearing the words that come out of someone else’s mouth, then you are centering the conversation around your own experience.
However, if your goal is to intentionally make the other person feel listened to then your focus is on their experience during the conversation instead of your own. The impact that that has on your relationship with that person and their experience of you is profound for building trust, rapport, and other people just enjoying talking with you..
Final thoughts
This is an important shift in mindset and behavior in regards to how you show up in your role, and for other people. It’s a simple trick that that’s easy to adopt and pays dividends when it comes to leveling up your communication skills and relationships.
If you have the intention to have a more positive impact on people, make sure you’re not just hearing them talk, but making them feel listened to.
Related Blogs:
Skills Lab: Active Listening Vs. Skilled Listening
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