Defining Your Intent vs Impact
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Alright, let’s start 2022 out right with some self awareness.
The topic around impact is really important as leaders, as human beings, as co-workers, as friends, and in relationships.
The truth is that you will not always impact people the way that you intend.
Your intentions versus your impact are different.
Not all the time, but sometimes they're different. And that's okay.
This is a really important element of self awareness and emotional intelligence for you as a human being to navigate this world, understanding that those things are not always going to match up.
And of course, for the most part, everyone intends to have a good, positive impact on other people. Our intention is never to hurt somebody's feelings or create a negative impact.
But the truth is that we will have those moments, that's just going to be part of your experience. Everybody communicates differently. Everybody interprets things differently, and humans are unique and interesting and diverse.
And that's just the truth.
The best way to navigate this world is understanding that your impact on others is more important than your intention.
We often fall back to defending ourselves or our mistake.
A lot of times, if we hurt someone's feelings, we immediately fall back to defending ourselves saying things like, "You hurt my feelings," "You're being too sensitive."
We deflect as opposed to taking ownership of the fact that, well, my intention was this, my intention was not to hurt your feelings.
When we have those situations happen, whether that's at work, personally, etc, to just take ownership of that and not to defend or feel like we have to change that person's opinion versus just say, "Hey, I understand, my intention was not to do this thing, or my intention was to clear this up, or communicate this with you. I did not intend to hurt your feelings or make you feel not listened to, etc. So I apologize. I'm sorry that I did that. I'm sorry that I said that and it had this effect. I'm sorry that what I did or what I said caused you to have hurt feelings."
It's okay to navigate situations understanding that your intent is not always going to match your impact.
It’s important also to recognize that we’re not judging ourselves and other people in the same way:
Something we’ve all heard but is relevant here is that generally, we judge other people by their impact on us. So your perception and perspective of other people around you and your life is based on how they impact you, not necessarily just based on their intentions and how they intend to impact you.
But we tend to view ourselves through the lens of our intentions, not our impact on other people.
For instance, I apply good intentions to myself, which makes it easier for us to paint ourselves in a positive light in every situation when the truth is, if you're having a negative impact or you're a leader who believes you’re highly effective at getting people to be productive but you leave a trail of bodies in your wake as your impact: That's not being effective. It damages relationships. It's not the best way to go through the world, and it's not the best way to be a coworker, colleague, friend, partner, leader, etc.
So again, impact versus intent, important to be aware of those things and take responsibility for it.
It's okay if you impact somebody in a way you didn't intend to, but own that, take ownership of it.
Make amends for that thing and do better going forward.
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This article was created by Galen Emanuele for the #culturedrop. Free leadership and team culture content in less than 5 minutes a week. Check out the rest of this month's content and subscribe to the Culture Drop at https://bit.ly/culturedrop