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In my time here on this planet, one thing that I have observed and believe firmly is this: Positivity is not just a state of mind, it’s a skill. It takes intention and practice to achieve and sustain.

How to be a more positive person and impact other people in a more positive way is a pretty big topic. It’s also one that’s very personal to every individual.

These are some thoughts from my brain and things that work for me personally. Take or leave what resonates with you.

For me, it begins with behavior.

Most of us have heard the common saying that “Your thoughts become your words, your words become your actions, your actions become your reality.”

That does make sense, but in reality it doesn’t work for me. Logically, it makes sense to say that if you want to be a more positive person then you need to have more positive thoughts.

In my humble opinion, to actually and intentionally be more positive in the world I think that where it needs to start is with your behavior. The words that you choose to come out of your mouth, the way you speak about and treat other people and situations, and the choices you make have an impact on you and the people around you.

As an example, when someone says “I love this song,” or this band, or movie, it’s not extremely uncommon for someone else to pipe up and say that they hate that movie, song, band, etc. Injecting negativity into a situation that does not warrant feels like some people’s favorite pastime.

Thoughts or actions?

And yes, one could argue that in that scenario the negativity begins in your thoughts, not your actions. My response to that is that there is nothing wrong with disliking a band or a movie, the issue is that you brought completely unnecessary negativity to a party that no one invited you to. And that’s a choice, it’s a behavior.

Imagine a potluck where people are sharing what they’ve brought like “I brought sandwiches,” and “I brought my famous homemade chili,” and without being prompted you chime in to exclaim “I hate potlucks.”

Disliking potlucks is not the problem in that situation, the problem is coming to a potluck and bringing your favorite home cooked version of negativity, instead of a dessert.

When you focus on your behaviors it allows you to feel empowered at any given moment over how you are impacting other people and situations by wielding something that you have the ability to control. Thoughts are not necessarily something that you can choose, but you have full power over how you react and behave in response to your thoughts.

I believe that you change your thoughts by changing your behaviors.

I like to think of brains as being like a garden. I've heard that analogy many times before and it resonates with me. What do you plant in that garden? What do you give sunlight and water to? Because that's what grows there.

For example, if you are constantly consuming and feeding your brain with angry podcasts and news that's full of tragic, terrible things or doom scrolling on social media and arguing with strangers on the internet about politics, you are not going to be a happy, positive person.

If the things and people that you spend a majority of your time and focus on consuming, being in proximity to, and investing your energy into are negative, that is going to affect and change your thoughts and how you show up and behave in this life.

Yes, those things influence your thoughts, but you are choosing to listen, engage, and focus your time and energy on them. Make a choice to choose something more positive, filling your tank with more positive things is an action, it’s a behavior.

Gratitude is the way.

I know I've said this before (and it is very personal), the number one place for me to pull myself out of a fog or to be more positive is centered around cultivating gratitude.

Focusing on and putting energy into the positive things in life that bring me joy and happiness, that energize and fuel me makes a big difference. Whether that is people or activities or creative outlets like video games or D&D or socializing with friends, etc, engaging in these things has a huge impact on what my life feels like and how I show up as a human.

Cultivating gratitude means carving out time and having boundaries in your life that allow you to prioritize doing the things that fuel you in a positive way. Maybe for you that's exercise, meditation, writing, painting or volunteering, etc. Whatever it is for you, prioritizing what you enjoy will make you a happier person.

Another way to cultivate gratitude is to share it and express it for the people in your life. We are naturally social beings and thrive on connection and belonging. Taking the time to appreciate and express gratitude for the people in your life that contribute to it positively is a huge spirit lifter - for you and for them.

What are you putting out?

Pursuing joy and showing gratitude for the people in your life is great work for yourself. Another critical element is being intentional about how you are impacting other people.

Look to impact other people in a positive way. At work, with your friends, in different types of relationships in your life, with strangers, etc.

Make a conscious choice to make other people feel good and look good in the way you treat them, respond to them, and speak about them. These are all things you have control over every day and every time you open your mouth. Light people up, seek to inspire them, be a source of goodness. 

Be conscious and intentional about what you plant in your garden, and what you give sunlight and water to. Positivity is a skill, practice it and increase your skill level. The word needs it, and your life will benefit greatly from it.

Want more?

This article was created by Galen Emanuele for the #culturedrop. Free leadership and team culture content in less than 5 minutes a week. Check out the rest of this month's content and subscribe to the Culture Drop at https://bit.ly/culturedrop 

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